Ness Cooper


Sex & Relationship Coach

Sex Writer

Ness Cooper


Sex & Relationship Coach

Sex Writer

Ness Cooper helps people find their authentic sexuality and helps them move fluidly through sexual wellbeing discrepancies.

She uses an integrated approach to therapy that combines developmental, person-centered, and TA. Trained in couples therapy, sex and relationship therapy, and LGBTQ+. She sees individuals and couples in her therapy private practice in Cromer, Norfolk, or via Zoom.

As well as being trained in therapy and coaching, Ness is a qualified pelvic floor biomechanics coach and pelvic floor fitness instructor.

Ness is internationally recognised as a leading expert in sex and relationships and has even trained with the Kinsey Institue for human sexuality. She is a sexpert and writer for Marie Claire, and is a published author not just in the news and magazines, but in books, and academia too.

Currently, Ness also trains other therapists and teaches a course on clinical sexology. Ness is a therapist teacher at European Sex Workers Rights Alliance, helping to train other therapists.

Ness regularly consults as a Sex and Relationship Expert for the press.

Ness cooper in the media and press from marie claire to red magazine

At the age of 15 I asked the school careers counsellor the following; “How do I become a sex and relationship therapist?”. I was shot down there and then, and told, “That’s not a real job.”.

I was determined to make it my career, and whilst it wasn’t quick and easy, I finally made it!

Shortly after deciding on my chosen profession, I was made homeless which made education harder. As a teen I was confronted with not only no home, but very little support from the government. Unable to work due to location and not having funds to travel to either a job or education, I sofa surfed. Career-wise things were put on a halt. I learned quickly about the struggles of period poverty and having to even pop into churches to stuff loo roll into my underwear as I couldn’t afford period products.

It took 3 years to gain the support needed to pull me out of homelessness, and during that time I still had it stuck in the back of my mind that I want to be a sex and relationship expert.

Whilst studying psychology I used my spare time to blog about sex toys. I started writing directly on retailers and then later established my own review website. Along the way, I explore how they could change the way that not only how I felt sexually physically but also how they impacted my sexual personality and relationships. I learned quickly that sexual dysfunctions and discrepancies can’t all be fixed by just adding a vibrator to the equation and that often more needs to be looked into.

Honing in my study to reflect my long-term goals I studied under the family planning association as a sex educator. I started diving more and more into the adult industry and writing sex toy guides and even helping with prototype development of sex tech.

In my early 20’s I had to take a break from my career goals as I became a subject of sex trafficking. When I was able to break free from the abusers it took a long time for me to feel safe sexually again. Whilst it may not make any sense to some, I found solitude in sex work and was able to regain my ability to give consent and refuse sexual advances I was against.

I continued my studies focusing on sex and relationship therapy and moved from escorting to Pro-Domming as it reflected my desire to learn more psychological elements behind human sexuality.

Reaching my 30’s I learned there were so many tools people could use to gain a fulfilling sexual wellbeing where they can be authentic. I started looking into coaching and how this could be integrated into my private practice.

I’ve now trained under many leading sexual wellbeing practitioners including Dr Ava Cadell, Annie Sprinkles, TASHRA, Pink Therapy, and more. During the years I learned that Kegels aren’t always the answer to all pelvic floor dysfunctions and I have trained as a pelvic floor biomechanics and Pilate’s instructor.

Bringing it all together I use a varied approach depending on my client’s needs, and work with individuals, couples, and polyamorous relationships.

In 2021 I completed study with the Kinsey Institute which proved to me to be fully intersectional we need to take an integrated approach to human sexuality.

I have also updated my youth sex education training with Acet and am part of the Esteem Network.

With regular continued professional development, I advance my skills by focusing on sex and relationship therapy courses, focusing on non-monogamy, sexual discrepancies, and fetish and kink.

Not only do I coach clients worldwide, I run educational training for professionals on human sexuality.

You can join me for skype, zoom, or phone sex and relationship coaching or further education by contacting me at

I offer online Sex and Relationship Coaching to help you find fluidity in pleasure. During my 10 years of practice, I have helped individuals, couples, and polyamorous relationships find a way to navigate issues around the following:

  • Barriers to pleasure
  • Dealing with jealousy and envy
  • Learning to find time for pleasure
  • Rebuilding desire and intimacy
  • Learning new sexual skills
  • Difficulties through online dating
  • Starting open or polyamorous relationships
  • Sex tech and the ins and outs
  • Sexual aftercare
  • BDSM and disabilities
  • Sex Work
  • Learning red and green flags

The methods I use to work with each client or group, vary as I adopt an integrated approach using sex and relationship coaching, sex and relationship therapy, mindfulness, pelvic floor biomechanics, and more.

Whilst many may find a single session works best for them, generally, I find it takes around 8 to 12 weekly sessions to help people find a way that fluidly works through various situations. When aiming for being able to move fluidly throughout situations you also learn the ability to adapt to future issues that may arise with ease.

Single sessions are great for troubleshooting a particular issue there and then.

Pricing is as follows:

Single Session £90 per 50 minutes

8 Weekly Sessions £700

All sessions are 50 minutes each via skype or phone. Block bookings of 8 or 12 weeks also come provided with worksheets so you can use them to develop your goals further.

Contact to arrange your Sex and Relationship Coaching now. Contact Ness Cooper

Media + Books
The six 'green flags' that prove your date's a keeper

Ness Cooper a relationship expert at The Sex Consultant says: "We focus a lot on telling people to look out for red flags but regularly forget about green flags. 

10 important learnings from Sex Education’s honest portrayal of sex, relationships and sexuality
marie claire

“Each episode runs through a challenge or emotional hurdle and shows a difficult or awkward discussion point between sexual partners, which we can all relate to,” explains Ness Cooper, a sexologist and sex and relationship coach at The Sex Consultant. “The show offers not just problems, but solutions, too: some subtle but still relevant, covering sex, authentic sexuality and sexual expression, as well.”

What Does It Really Mean To Be A Bottom?

Ness Cooper, a sexologist who works as a sex and relationship coach at The Sex Consultant, confirms that decisions about who tops, who bottoms, who doms and who subs can only be made by those within the relationship. "If you’re both into power play consensually then sure, use the terms 'top' and 'bottom' freely if you prefer them to 'dom' and 'sub'," she says.

Your Well-Being Book Chapter
Relationships Uncovered Book Chapter
Education + Memberships
Kinsey Intensive

Passed Study in Human Sexuality.

Certified Clinical Sexologist

Student & Trainee Assoc for Sexual Health & HIV

Loveology University

Certified Relationship Coach

Loveology University

Certified Master Sexpert

Loveology University


Online and Telephone Counselling
acto and NCS
Best Erotic Journalist Nomination 2013

  • Sex Writing
  • Sex and Relationship Coach
  • Sex Consultant
  • Sex Tech Nerd
  • Sex Toys
  • Kink and BDSM
  • Sex Worker
  • Sex Writing
  • Youth Sex Ed
  • Disabilities and Sex
  • Teaching Sex
  • Polyamory
  • Sexual Shame
  • Sexual Discrepancies
  • Sex Compulsion / Addiction
  • Jealousy and envy
  • Aftercare
Sexual Desire and bucket lists
July 13, 2022 Sexual Desires and Bucket Lists

We can often confuse our bucket-lists with sexual desires, but what really is the difference?

Sex Toys and Pain Relief
July 6, 2022 How to Cope With Chronic Pain During Sex

A basic overview of chronic pain, pain relief, and sexual pleasure

Sex and relationship therapy question being answered
June 15, 2022 Your guide to sex and relationship therapy and coaching!

Therapy or coaching sounds like a great idea, but many of us still don’t know what happens during it, here are 5 things you need to know!

cuffing season guide
November 6, 2021 How to get through winter dating cuffing season?

Cuffing season is the time of year where people couple up, here are 5 tips on dating during the winter months.

Get in Touch

You may be able to find the answer to your query by checking out the Frequently Asked Questions page. Head over to the FAQ for instant answers.

  • Freelance: Available
  • Phone: 07786141455
  • Email:
Contact Form

    Continued Professional Development

    Below you’ll find listed some of the training I’ve completed over recent years. It’s not everything, and you’ll find I’m forever attending new courses, particularly around couples work, relationships, LGBTQAI+, kink and BDSM.

    CPDs and further therapy and counselling training

    • Domestic Violence and Sexual Abuse IPHM CPD
    • Diploma in Relationship Psychology
    • Sexuality, Gender and Sex – What’s the difference? Rainbow therapy and onlinevents
    • Suicide Prevention Training, Zero Suicide Alliance
    • Kink, Fetish, or Something More? Pink Therapy
    • Not In Front Of The Clients – Living and Working Within Our Communities Pink Therapy
    • Gender Neutral Prnouns
    • Young People and Gender Identity Training by Madison-Amy Webb
    • Gender and Transgender identity
    • Current and Emerging Sexual Practices In Kink with Gay and Bisexual Men Pink Therapy
    • Introduction to Imago Relationship Therapy, part 1, 2, 3, 4 by Dr Kalanit Ben-Ari
    • Imposter Syndrome course by Good Enough Counsellor
    • Understanding Working with Gender Variance and Autism
    • HIV and AIDS awareness
    • Dealing with Procrastination Today in SST by Windy Dryden
    • Gender Identity Essentials – Reporting Trans Hate Crime
    • Understanding Mental Health Legislation
    • Child Sexual Exploitation and Rape Awareness Training
    • Single Session Therapy With Relationship Problem by Windy Dryden
    • TA101 the Link Cantre
    • Workshop on Single Session Therapy 1 day CPD Windy Dryden
    • Sex and Sexual Problems by Juliet Grayson
    • Understanding and Managing Loneliness
    • Certificate in Couples Counselling
    • Online and Telephone Counselling
    • Working with Creative and Embodied Therapeutic Approaches
    • BDSM in Clinical Context ISSM
    • Centre for Positive Sexuality: Rape Play Kink Course by Andrew Pari
    • Understanding Bestiality and Zoophillia Americian Psychological Association
    • SAR training sexual attitude reassessment training Sex Coach U and Sex Positive Institute
    • Traumatophilic Repetition and the Suffering of Pleasure TASHRA training
    • Kinky Mind and Body: Psychobiology of Kink TASHRA training
    • AASECT Bedfellows: New Horizons in Therapy and Somatic Work
    • American Association Of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists: Conversations in Kink from Emerging to Thriving MOTE (Multiplicity of the Erotic Conference)
    • Clinical Competency with ABDL’s and Age Players by Dr Rhoda Lipscomb and Dr Matt Sevier aasect
    • The Couples Institute Level 1
    • Counselling Diploma Level 3 and 4
    • Understanding Chems (Chemsex training)
    • The Truth About Porn Addiction
    • Sex after Sexual Trauma via The Centre for Psychosexual Health

    Sex Education Training

    • Level 4 Teaching Relationships and Sex Education acet UK
    • Equity in Healthcare for Trans and Gender Diverse People Student and trainee association for sexual health and HIV
    • Is Online Porn and Social Media Impacting on You People’s Sexual and Mental Health? Student and Trainess Association for Sexual Health and HIV
    • The Pleasure Principle FPA (Family Planning Association)
    • Sexually Transmitted Infections FPA (Family Planning Association)
    • Level 2 LGBT Inclusion in the Workplace (RQF)
    • PSHE Association training via Future Learn
    • Pride in Education 2020 and 2021
    • MyGwork Marketing, Advertising, and LGBT training conference
    • HPV-Associated Oral and Throat Cancer Icahn School of Medicine at Mount Sinai
    • ASHM & ACON’s Trans
      and Gender Diverse
      Sexual Health Care elearning
      July 12, 2022
      Conducted by the
      Australasian Society for HIV, Viral Hepatitis
      and Sexual Health Medicine


    • IAP Relationship Coach
    • Loveology University Certified Love Coach and Loveologist
    • Loveology University Certified Master Sexpert
    • Loveology University Certified Relationship Coach

    Pelvic Floor Training

    • Pregnanacy and Postpartum Corrective Exercise Specialist PCES CEU 23 Dr Duvall
    • CES Pregnanacy and Postpartum Corrective Exercise Specialist PCES 2.0 CIMSPA 10 points
    • Fusion Pilates Pelvic Floor Foundation for Support with Lesley Powell
    • Pfilates Instructor Training
    • Pilates Foundation The Pelvic Floor Bible
    • Understanding and Working Therapeutically With Survivors of Sexual Trauma(s) Zoe Lodrick York Womens Counselling Service
    • My Pelvic Matters
    • Women who want to learn about pessaries &pelvic floor issues
    • Natural Sea Sponges Training for pelvic floor prolapse by pelvic angel

    Other Wellbeing Training

    • Level 2 NCFE Understanding Nutrition and Health
    • Level 3 Diploma Vegetarian and Vegan Nutrition Consultant
    • Effective Training for Hypermobility Tanya Thompson
    • The Sleeping Bum for Professionals Course Tanya Thompson Pilates glute biomechanics
    • A.C. Dip. Women’s Health Diploma (Covered clinical and holistic therapies, including in menopause and herbalism)
    • Pilate Method Alliance Biotensegrity of Movement
    • Appi Pilates for Spinal Surgery 8 CPD hours
    • Hip Home Program for Professionals Tanya Thompson
    • Pilates Trainer Professional Level 3 ABC awards O.A. Dip.
    • Future Fit Pilates Instructor Training
    • Amazing Lower Abdominal Activation Course Pilates Biomechanics Tanya Thompson
    • Brilliance in Teaching Biomechanics and Pilates by Tanya Thompson
    • Elderly Training Course in Pilates (older people) by Tanya Thompson
    • Dementia Training by Dave Dawes
    • Safe Greater Trochanteric Bursitis Training Course
    • Training You Eye Course (another biotensegrity course)
    • An Introduction to Social Studies OU
    • Shinrin Yoku Forest Bather Instructor
    • Open University CPD Exercise and Mental Health
    • Psychology OU
    • Psychology of Sales Dipolma
    • Endometriosis: What Health Care Professionals Need To Know Dr. Mona Orady, MD Pelvic Health Alliance and Pelvic Guru


    • American Board of Sexology Certified Sexologist
    • Kinsey Human Sexuality
    • International Society of Sexual Medicine
    • Ecosexology training under Annie Sprinkles
    • Endometriosis ISSM

    Sessions can be paid for via bank transfer or Paypal. They must be paid before your coaching and or therapy session.

    Therapy or coaching sessions are 50 minutes each.

    If you’re seeking a media friendly expert, then Ness is available for press inquiries and collaborations* on media campaigns.


    Check out more about Ness in the Press, here.


    *PR requests and brand collaborations are welcomed but may involve a fee mainly if Ness is working as the lead campaign expert and consultant. 

    If you’re looking for a sexpert or expert for your campaign, I have over 15 years of experience consulting on sex tech and sexual health. Check out my most recent projects here.

    You have your idea but want to work out the kinks? I’m an experienced prototype sex toy tester who has consulted on diamond vibrators, love arc and other sex machines, and pelvic floor and kegel devices.


    If you’re looking to hire an industry and manufacturing knowledgeable expert when it comes to sex tech, sex toys, and sexual wellness products, I’m the person for you!


    Contact me via or for a no bull shit and no sugar coating evaluation of your prototype!

    I started working as a paid journalist and copywriter at the age of 13, since then I’ve found my niche and now only write about sex and relationships.

    Over time I have won awards for my writing, from best reviews to the best erotic journalist.

    If you’re looking to hire a freelance writer, hope on over to my other website Copy Ever After.



    Yes! I love the bounce and flow in writing and finding an article’s or brand’s voice as I tap rhythmically on my keyboard.

    If you’re looking for Sex and Relationship focused content, Sex tech, Sex Toys, and adult industry writing, I’m the writer for you!


    Email me at to discuss projects. 

    No! That’s the great thing about therapy, you don’t have to be in a relationship to seek sex or relationship therapy.

    Subscribe to learn free sex and relationship advice

    You have successfully subscribed to the newsletter

    There was an error while trying to send your request. Please try again.

    Ness Cooper will use the information you provide on this form to be in touch with you and to provide updates and marketing.