Ness Cooper


Sex & Relationship Coach

Sex Writer

Ness Cooper


Sex & Relationship Coach

Sex Writer

Ness Cooper helps people find their authentic sexuality and helps them move fluidly through sexual wellbeing discrepancies.

She uses an integrated approach to therapy that combines developmental, person-centered, and TA. Trained in couples therapy, sex and relationship therapy, and LGBTQ+. She sees individuals and couples in her therapy private practice in Cromer, Norfolk, or via Zoom.

As well as being trained in therapy and coaching, Ness is a qualified pelvic floor biomechanics coach and pelvic floor fitness instructor.

Ness is internationally recognised as a leading expert in sex and relationships and has even trained with the Kinsey Institue for human sexuality. She is a sexpert and writer for Marie Claire, and is a published author not just in the news and magazines, but in books, and academia too.

Currently, Ness also trains other therapists and teaches a course on clinical sexology. Ness teacher at European Sex Workers Rights Alliance, helping to train other therapists.

Ness regularly consults as a Sex and Relationship Expert for the press.

At the age of 15 I asked the school careers counsellor the following; “How do I become a sex and relationship therapist?”. I was shot down there and then, and told, “That’s not a real job.”.

I was determined to make it my career, and whilst it wasn’t quick and easy, I finally made it!

Shortly after deciding on my chosen profession, I was made homeless which made education harder. As a teen I was confronted with not only no home, but very little support from the government. Unable to work due to location and not having funds to travel to either a job or education, I sofa surfed. Career-wise things were put on a halt. I learned quickly about the struggles of period poverty and having to even pop into churches to stuff loo roll into my underwear as I couldn’t afford period products.

It took 3 years to gain the support needed to pull me out of homelessness, and during that time I still had it stuck in the back of my mind that I want to be a sex and relationship expert.

Whilst studying psychology I used my spare time to blog about sex toys. I started writing directly on retailers and then later established my own review website. Along the way, I explore how they could change the way that not only how I felt sexually physically but also how they impacted my sexual personality and relationships. I learned quickly that sexual dysfunctions and discrepancies can’t all be fixed by just adding a vibrator to the equation and that often more needs to be looked into.

Honing in my study to reflect my long-term goals I studied under the family planning association as a sex educator. I started diving more and more into the adult industry and writing sex toy guides and even helping with prototype development of sex tech.

In my early 20’s I had to take a break from my career goals as I became a subject of sex trafficking. When I was able to break free from the abusers it took a long time for me to feel safe sexually again. Whilst it may not make any sense to some, I found solitude in sex work and was able to regain my ability to give consent and refuse sexual advances I was against.

I continued my studies focusing on sex and relationship therapy and moved from escorting to Pro-Domming as it reflected my desire to learn more psychological elements behind human sexuality.

Reaching my 30’s I learned there were so many tools people could use to gain a fulfilling sexual wellbeing where they can be authentic. I started looking into coaching and how this could be integrated into my private practice.

I’ve now trained under many leading sexual wellbeing practitioners including Dr Ava Cadell, Annie Sprinkles, TASHRA, Pink Therapy, and more. During the years I learned that Kegels aren’t always the answer to all pelvic floor dysfunctions and I have trained as a pelvic floor biomechanics and Pilate’s instructor.

Bringing it all together I use a varied approach depending on my client’s needs, and work with individuals, couples, and polyamorous relationships.

In 2021 I completed study with the Kinsey Institute which proved to me to be fully intersectional we need to take an integrated approach to human sexuality.

I have also updated my youth sex education training with Acet and am part of the Esteem Network.

With regular continued professional development, I advance my skills by focusing on sex and relationship therapy courses, focusing on non-monogamy, sexual discrepancies, and fetish and kink.

Not only do I coach clients worldwide, I run educational training for professionals on human sexuality.

You can join me for skype, zoom, or phone sex and relationship coaching or further education by contacting me at

I offer online Sex and Relationship Coaching to help you find fluidity in pleasure. During my 10 years of practice, I have helped individuals, couples, and polyamorous relationships find a way to navigate issues around the following:

  • Barriers to pleasure
  • Dealing with jealousy and envy
  • Learning to find time for pleasure
  • Rebuilding desire and intimacy
  • Learning new sexual skills
  • Difficulties through online dating
  • Starting open or polyamorous relationships
  • Sex tech and the ins and outs
  • Sexual aftercare
  • BDSM and disabilities
  • Sex Work
  • Learning red and green flags

The methods I use to work with each client or group, vary as I adopt an integrated approach using sex and relationship coaching, sex and relationship therapy, mindfulness, pelvic floor biomechanics, and more.

Whilst many may find a single session works best for them, generally, I find it takes around 8 to 12 weekly sessions to help people find a way that fluidly works through various situations. When aiming for being able to move fluidly throughout situations you also learn the ability to adapt to future issues that may arise with ease.

Single sessions are great for troubleshooting a particular issue there and then.

Pricing is as follows:

Single Session £90 per 50 minutes

8 Weekly Sessions £700

All sessions are 50 minutes each via skype or phone. Block bookings of 8 or 12 weeks also come provided with worksheets so you can use them to develop your goals further.

Contact to arrange your Sex and Relationship Coaching now. Contact Ness Cooper

Media + Books
The six 'green flags' that prove your date's a keeper

Ness Cooper a relationship expert at The Sex Consultant says: "We focus a lot on telling people to look out for red flags but regularly forget about green flags. 

10 important learnings from Sex Education’s honest portrayal of sex, relationships and sexuality
marie claire

“Each episode runs through a challenge or emotional hurdle and shows a difficult or awkward discussion point between sexual partners, which we can all relate to,” explains Ness Cooper, a sexologist and sex and relationship coach at The Sex Consultant. “The show offers not just problems, but solutions, too: some subtle but still relevant, covering sex, authentic sexuality and sexual expression, as well.”

What Does It Really Mean To Be A Bottom?

Ness Cooper, a sexologist who works as a sex and relationship coach at The Sex Consultant, confirms that decisions about who tops, who bottoms, who doms and who subs can only be made by those within the relationship. "If you’re both into power play consensually then sure, use the terms 'top' and 'bottom' freely if you prefer them to 'dom' and 'sub'," she says.

Your Well-Being Book Chapter
Relationships Uncovered Book Chapter
Education + Memberships
Kinsey Intensive

Passed Study in Human Sexuality.

Certified Clinical Sexologist

Student & Trainee Assoc for Sexual Health & HIV

Loveology University

Certified Relationship Coach

Loveology University

Certified Master Sexpert

Loveology University


Online and Telephone Counselling
acto and NCS
Best Erotic Journalist Nomination 2013

  • Sex Writing
  • Sex and Relationship Coach
  • Sex Consultant
  • Sex Tech Nerd
  • Sex Toys
  • Kink and BDSM
  • Sex Worker
  • Sex Writing
  • Youth Sex Ed
  • Disabilities and Sex
  • Teaching Sex
  • Polyamory
  • Sexual Shame
  • Sexual Discrepancies
  • Sex Compulsion / Addiction
  • Jealousy and envy
  • Aftercare
Sex Toys and Pain Relief
July 6, 2022 How to Cope With Chronic Pain During Sex

A basic overview of chronic pain, pain relief, and sexual pleasure

Sex and relationship therapy question being answered
June 15, 2022 Your guide to sex and relationship therapy and coaching!

Therapy or coaching sounds like a great idea, but many of us still don’t know what happens during it, here are 5 things you need to know!

cuffing season guide
November 6, 2021 How to get through winter dating cuffing season?

Cuffing season is the time of year where people couple up, here are 5 tips on dating during the winter months.

Get in Touch
  • Freelance: Available
  • Phone: 07786141455
  • Email:
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