Ness Cooper a relationship expert at The Sex Consultant says: "We focus a lot on telling people to look out for red flags but regularly forget about green flags.
Ness Cooper helps people find their authentic sexuality and helps them move fluidly through sexual wellbeing discrepancies.
She uses an integrated approach to therapy that combines developmental, person-centered, and TA. Trained in couples therapy, sex and relationship therapy, and LGBTQ+. She sees individuals and couples in her therapy private practice in Cromer, Norfolk, or via Zoom.
As well as being trained in therapy and coaching, Ness is a qualified pelvic floor biomechanics coach and pelvic floor fitness instructor.
Ness is internationally recognised as a leading expert in sex and relationships and has even trained with the Kinsey Institue for human sexuality. She is a sexpert and writer for Marie Claire, and is a published author not just in the news and magazines, but in books, and academia too.
Currently, Ness also trains other therapists and teaches a course on clinical sexology. Ness is a therapist teacher at European Sex Workers Rights Alliance, helping to train other therapists.
Ness regularly consults as a Sex and Relationship Expert for the press.
At the age of 15 I asked the school careers counsellor the following; “How do I become a sex and relationship therapist?”. I was shot down there and then, and told, “That’s not a real job.”.
I was determined to make it my career, and whilst it wasn’t quick and easy, I finally made it!
Shortly after deciding on my chosen profession, I was made homeless which made education harder. As a teen I was confronted with not only no home, but very little support from the government. Unable to work due to location and not having funds to travel to either a job or education, I sofa surfed. Career-wise things were put on a halt. I learned quickly about the struggles of period poverty and having to even pop into churches to stuff loo roll into my underwear as I couldn’t afford period products.
It took 3 years to gain the support needed to pull me out of homelessness, and during that time I still had it stuck in the back of my mind that I want to be a sex and relationship expert.
Whilst studying psychology I used my spare time to blog about sex toys. I started writing directly on retailers and then later established my own review website. Along the way, I explore how they could change the way that not only how I felt sexually physically but also how they impacted my sexual personality and relationships. I learned quickly that sexual dysfunctions and discrepancies can’t all be fixed by just adding a vibrator to the equation and that often more needs to be looked into.
Honing in my study to reflect my long-term goals I studied under the family planning association as a sex educator. I started diving more and more into the adult industry and writing sex toy guides and even helping with prototype development of sex tech.
In my early 20’s I had to take a break from my career goals as I became a subject of sex trafficking. When I was able to break free from the abusers it took a long time for me to feel safe sexually again. Whilst it may not make any sense to some, I found solitude in sex work and was able to regain my ability to give consent and refuse sexual advances I was against.
I continued my studies focusing on sex and relationship therapy and moved from escorting to Pro-Domming as it reflected my desire to learn more psychological elements behind human sexuality.
Reaching my 30’s I learned there were so many tools people could use to gain a fulfilling sexual wellbeing where they can be authentic. I started looking into coaching and how this could be integrated into my private practice.
I’ve now trained under many leading sexual wellbeing practitioners including Dr Ava Cadell, Annie Sprinkles, TASHRA, Pink Therapy, and more. During the years I learned that Kegels aren’t always the answer to all pelvic floor dysfunctions and I have trained as a pelvic floor biomechanics and Pilate’s instructor.
Bringing it all together I use a varied approach depending on my client’s needs, and work with individuals, couples, and polyamorous relationships.
In 2021 I completed study with the Kinsey Institute which proved to me to be fully intersectional we need to take an integrated approach to human sexuality.
I have also updated my youth sex education training with Acet and am part of the Esteem Network.
With regular continued professional development, I advance my skills by focusing on sex and relationship therapy courses, focusing on non-monogamy, sexual discrepancies, and fetish and kink.
Not only do I coach clients worldwide, I run educational training for professionals on human sexuality.
You can join me for skype, zoom, or phone sex and relationship coaching or further education by contacting me at contact@thesexconsultant.com
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