Ness Cooper

Sexologist

Sex & Relationship Coach

Sex Writer

Ness Cooper

Sexologist

Sex & Relationship Coach

Sex Writer

Blog Post

Your guide to sex and relationship therapy and coaching!

June 15, 2022 Ask Ness Cooper
Your guide to sex and relationship therapy and coaching!
five things you need to know about sex and relationship therapy and coaching

5 things you should know about sex and relationship therapy and coaching

If you’ve considered attending coaching or therapy you may be still searching for answers on what actually happens during it. It can be daunting to take the leap into therapy or coaching as they aren’t regularly spoken about. Many are aware of the existence but not aware of the processes, and that’s perfectly ok, as humans we’re not meant to know everything.

This little blog post will give you the awareness needed to take the next step in whether or not therapy or coaching is the right path for you.

Here are 5 things I want you to know about therapy and coaching.

  • We have heard it all!

When venturing into the therapy room you may find it hard to discuss certain things that have been playing on your mind, but don’t worry, many of us as sex and relationship therapists and coaches have heard it all. That doesn’t make your experience any less unique and personal to you, but it’s sometimes helpful to be aware that we’re prepared for anything you bring into the therapy or coaching room. As a therapist, I am obliged to attend continued training throughout my years of practice, and this means I’ve explored a wide range of sex and relationship topics, from fetishes, to day to day couples interactions, I’ve explored it all.

  • We think you’re an ok human!

Some of the things you may bring into the coaching or therapy room may carry stigma and shame that make it challenging for you to talk about. But it’s important for you to know that regardless of what you bring into the room, we still think you’re an ok human and we are here to help work through all the challenges you may have around it. Regardless of what you bring, your existence is valid, and we’re here for you.

  • Some stages of therapy or coaching may be challenging.

It’s normal to experience challenges along the way and as a sexual wellbeing professional, we will only go as far as you want. In coaching the goal is to stage in the present and if the past arises changing the contract or method of help to therapy may be beneficial, but it’s completely up to you as the client whether or not we do that. In both modalities, the choice of how sessions progress is always up to you or if you are attending with a partner it is a joint decision on which is more suited to you.

  • There can be homework.

Some clients benefit from support outside of the therapy or coaching room in the form of homework. Trust me, it’s more fun and rewarding than most of the stuff you may have done in school! Homework is an option and again you and or your partner will have the choice to accept it or refuse it. You may find some weeks that you can only manage parts of it too, and as a coach and therapist I’m not here to shame you for not completing it, rather I accept that life can be complicated at times and it’s ok to skip some things and focus on other bits at times.

  • Sometimes as coaches or therapists we get things wrong too.

It can feel like we must know all the answers, but if I’m honest we don’t! As a sex and relationship therapist and coach, I focus a lot on how you lead the session too, as we are working together to work through to achieve your goal, and this means sometimes I need clarification. At times I  find my clients are the greatest teachers I have too and I have learned so many different things from them, it’s been amazing. When I notice something I don’t understand I may admit it, as I’m human and don’t know everything. I will give you the choice of whether or not you want to dive deeper into an explanation, but note it’s not your responsibility to do that so you can refuse. If I feel particularly stuck or confused I will take it to supervision or research further in the form of CPDs.

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